Have you been out of the dating pool for a while now? Are you ready to get back out there and meet someone? Are you scared, nervous, or even terrified to start dating? If so, you are not alone. Men and Women both have felt this way. Probably more than once. There are many steps that can be taken to help prepare yourself with meeting someone.
1. Something that many of us seem to forget about is “Self-Love”. We often focus on others, but forget about ourselves. It is important to love yourself first, before others.
2. Give that previous chapter a rest. This doesn’t mean that you should completely close that chapter, but let’s set it aside for a bit. However, if the previous chapter includes a toxic relationship, and if you are ready to put it behind you, then it is ok to close it. This method may work for some, but not always for everyone. Turn the page on that chapter and start a new one. If you need to go back to the previous chapter from time to time, then go ahead and do so. However, don’t allow yourself to get stuck there. Glance at it and then move forward.
3. Take some time and gather your thoughts before getting out there. However, try not to take too much time. If you are one of those who tends to go from one relationship to another, stop it! Many of us have been down that road a time or two, or even ten. After getting out of a relationship, whether you did the breaking up or your partner did, just give it some time. Take some time for yourself and reflect back. Reflect back on that relationship and focus on what could have been different, what you wanted to be different, what you or your partner may have been lacking, and so forth. If you feel that you are lonely and “need” to be in a relationship again, think again and again and see if this is what you really want or need right now. Try giving it some time. You can set a deadline for a time frame if that might help, but give it some time.
4. If you had a certain time-frame, or set a deadline as mentioned in number three, try to access how you may be feeling. Setting a time-frame or deadline could work, but just keep in mind that there is only one guideline that you should use. And that is when “you” feel that you are ready to move on. This is not about anyone, not your friends or family, but only you yourself.
5. Recognize a lack of fear when it comes to dating. Does the idea of dating, sitting across from a stranger, getting to know someone fear you? If it does, you are not the only one. This is something that terrifies many of us. Jot down some things that scare you, or that you fear when it comes to meeting someone for the first time. Does this make you anxious? Excited? A little bit of both?
6. Give yourself permission to start dating again. Many of us have had issues with this one. Do you feel guilty for meeting someone new? Are there people who tell you that you aren’t ready? Do they try to steer you away from the dating world? This is all about you, not anyone else. Go for it!
7. Has it been a while since you have dated? One year? Ten years? Are you wondering what to do on a date? How to act? Have things changed since you’ve dated? No worries! It is ok to wonder about how the dating scene is. Times are changing. Times have changed. Just get ready for that date, go out and have a good time. There is no need to set “rules” for dating.
8. What will you talk about when you go on that first date? Does it scare you to think about what the conversation will be about between you and your date? Are you playing it back and forth in your head what you might talk about? Don’t do that! You don’t want to sound as if you have been rehearsing conversations in your head. Just go with the flow. Keep the conversation light in the beginning. There is no need to give a full biography of your life in one date. Sharing too much information can be scary. Not only for yourself, but it could possibly scare your date.