Putting Yourself First

How important is it to put yourself before others? How important is it to put others before yourself? I have asked myself both of these questions many times. I have always put the needs of others first. I pushed my needs aside in order to help family and friends. At times I even put needs first to those that I didn’t know.

It wasn’t until not long ago when I realized that I have been doing it wrong all these years. I went without, I was left out, I lost my apartment, I quit my job, and sacrificed so much because there were other people who needed, or I guess it is safe to say, demanded, my help. I missed out on so much because I put their needs and wants before I took care of myself.

I will not say that I wish things were different because I wouldn’t be where I am today and probably wouldn’t be married to my best friend if things would have been different. I do however, wish that things would have been different from the start many years ago when I couldn’t stand up to others and tell them that they would have to wait until I did what I needed to do.

Am I selfish to feel that way? No, I am not. We should not feel a bit selfish for putting ourselves first. I feel that I have to take care of myself and my needs, and get my things done first. I can always make room to care for others, but I must take care of myself first.

So tell me, what are your thoughts on putting yourself first? What are your thoughts on what I just talked about? I would love to hear yours.


Certified Life and Relationship Coach

Kitchen memories with my Mother

Do you have a “special” memory that you can only have with a certain someone? Maybe a holiday tradition? My special memory is and will always be in the kitchen with my mother. My favorite is during the Thanksgiving holiday, but also when I am making a certain dish. My Mother and I used to spend days and hours in the kitchen prepping and preparing for our favorite Thanksgiving holiday. We would start a couple of days before Thanksgiving getting things ready. She taught me how to prepare and cook anything and everything.

My Mother passed away in September of 2014. Around this time of year, every year, her and I would start the holiday grocery shopping. I miss everything about her. I miss shopping with her, cooking with her, sitting around and staying up late talking about just about anything and everything, calling one another and talking for hours at a time. Holidays are hard for me because I miss her so much. The pain of her being gone hits me often. Especially this time of year.

There are times when I am in the kitchen cooking dinner. I always feel that my Mother is right there with me. Many times I forgot to make a certain dish, but then all of a sudden I could hear in my thoughts my mother telling me how to do it. This has happened a lot since she passed away. I keep a photo of her in the kitchen so I know that she is always in the place that I need her the most. Kitchen memories with my Mother is the greatest feeling that I could possibly ever have.

Thanksgiving is very special to me. It is surly my favorite time of year. I go all out with the food and invite several family members to celebrate with my husband and I. It always turns out so nice. Even though I get exhausted just thinking about it only being a short time away, I can feel the excitement.

Kitchen memories with my Mother. Forever and always, not only will she be in my heart, but she will always be in my kitchen and memories as well. Thank you Mom for all you have taught me. You truly are an inspiration to me.

Did she really say that to me?

Have you ever told a “friend” what you want and hope to do with your life? What was their reply? Were they supportive of your choices? Did they offer advice? Or did they act as if they were better and more successful than you and that you will never make it?

It wasn’t long ago when I did just that. I talked to a friend (or someone that I thought was a friend), about what I wanted to do, about what I know I could do, and that I have wanted to start this career choice for some time now. Well, I didn’t get the response that I thought I would from her. Sure, she listened to my ideas and asked a lot of questions. She wanted me to give many examples of what I wanted to do and how I planned on doing it. I was so excited to share my ideas with her. But, she took my ideas and ran with them herself. This was so disappointing to me. I was very upset, and a bit angry. Not just angry at what she did, but also at myself for playing into her whatever you want to call it.

Should I forget about my ideas and just move on to something else? Do I forget about what I want to do in life just because of a selfish person? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I am stronger than that. I am better than that. I will go after my dreams and I will succeed. If I don’t succeed financially, I will succeed mentally. At least I know that I can try, and I will try, to go after my goals and dreams. I will not allow anyone to tear me down.

To the “friend” who shot me down, please know that because of you and your selfishness, I am a much stronger person now. You did not break me. So, thank you so much for allowing me to see how truly amazing I really am.


Certified Life and Relationship Coach

Just Breathe

We all have bad days. I know that I do from time to time. I can remember many times in the past while having a bad day, my mood was something awful. I didn’t want to be around anyone, didn’t want to talk to anyone, didn’t want to even hear from anybody. How did I handle this? I just shut everyone out. If I was mad at one thing or one person I was mad at the whole world and everyone around.

I feel that I have a much better handle on things now. I have learned over time that if I am having a bad day, if I get upset, a little angry at things, I take a little “time out” for myself and just breathe. By taking a little “me time”, I have found that not only is it good for myself, but also for those who are around me. I don’t want to say something that I don’t truly mean because that can be so hurtful. I know this by experience because it has happened more than once. I think that most of us have allowed this to happen a time or two, right?

So, if there is ever a time that you are feeling stressed, angry, upset, etc., just take a little bit of time to breathe.

Independence Day 2020

Happy Independence Day Weekend!

How are you going to be spending your 4th of July weekend? Are you going to be able to watch the Firework show in your area, or has it been cancelled? I am hearing about many places that have already cancelled their Independence Day events due to the Coronaviruse. The town where I am is still planning on having the Firework show, but my husband and I decided that we are going to stay home and just enjoy the holiday from our front porch. Cookout? We may do a little cooking out, but that would be nothing new for us. We do it often anyway. Nothing like the taste of grilled food and ice cold Watermelon.

I would love to hear your holiday plans.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope each of you have a wonderful holiday and stay safe.